A commenter raised some questions about an article we published here last Summer on the Manosphere's mythology concerning so-called female hypergamy. The issues that he raised really deserve a more detailed response; and since it's been awhile since we've visited this topic, a new post was in order. For those unfamiliar with the term, female hypergamy is a doctrine taught by the Red Pills in the Manosphere that women, by nature, are driven to seek supposedly high-status males and are not monogamous or devoted to one male by love or any other attachment. Here's the reader's comment in full:
"My only quibble with this that a simple Google search for 'I cheated on my husband' will yield tons of proof of Female Hypergamy. Story after story of women leaving otherwise good men and situations for some 'better' option. The younger man, the richer man, the sexier man, etc. I mean, honestly doing that Google search and reading the results screams proof to me.
"I should note that many in the MGTOW movement are men who have been hurt by a woman and are failing to heal. They really need help."
These are some valid points; but hypergamy does not explain them. The results from the Google Search actually reveals unfaithful wives who are justifying leaving their husbands. These women are hardly unbiased sources as to whether the new men are better or not; it's a lot like reading PUA testimonies in the Manosphere---they could pick up some drugged-out prostitute in a sleazy dive-bar, but the story will be spun as though she's a swimsuit model for Victoria's Secret.
Nonetheless, the divorce rate in the US is out of control; and single men in the US are frustrated with a lack of options. The reason for these things, though, are as follows:
1. Contrary to popular belief, single women of marriageable age are heavily outnumbered by single men in the US.
2. Factors like the breakdown of the family and dumbing-down of our schools have left girls and women with little or no education on how to be wives and mothers. Feminist disinformation has, of course, made the situation even worse.
3. Our culture is extremely hostile to men and masculinity in general.
The phenomenon we witness with female infidelity is not women behaving according to female nature; it is women reacting to an abnormal and dysfunctional social dynamic. Simply put: If women are surrounded by unattached men; and given no education in maintaining a relationship---and in fact are encouraged by social pressures to cheat---it's not surprising at all that many do. It's not female nature, but human nature that's at work here.
The last paragraph of the comment is sadly true; and is a consequence of point #3 above. Our culture has no sympathy whatsoever for wounded men---and in MGTOW they find other wounded men who've failed to heal and have empathy for them. We agree that these men need help; but frequently there is none. This is another cultural failing that needs to faced.
Our commenter's mistake is a common one. Too often we take our culture's values as normative and draw conclusions from them. The mistake is assuming that our postmodern values are what values always have been throughout human history. That assumption leads to false conclusions like female hypergamy.