US SPECIAL FORCES DRIVEN OUT OF SYRIA

     Turkish President Erdogan stated to that country's press today that the US commandoes accompanying his troops in Syria had been withdrawn and returned to Turkey. Erdogan stated that the "attitudes" of our brave men and women in uniform made cooperation with Turkish allies in Northern Syria impossible.

     "The militias do not want the US Special Forces' assistance because of their behavior towards the Syrian opposition." Erdogan announced. "Our troops escorted out 30 US Special Forces troops from the armed conflict zone."

     The decision followed the Special Forces' humiliating retreat from the Syrian village of Al-Rai on Friday. A team of about a half-dozen commandoes entered Al-Rai. A scuffle quickly broke out between the troops and members of the FSA militia in which punches were thrown and the militiamen mobbed the soldiers, who cursed them in Arabic. The commandoes fled the scene, pelted with stones, bottles and invectives from the villagers and back to the Turkish lines.

       A video released by a local militia commander summed up their sentiments: "We and other FSA groups fighting in and around Aleppo say that we remain a free army and refuse to fight on the side of Americans who support the terrorists...We are halting all military operations until US troops leave the region."

       "Such rhetoric is not acceptable." huffed Josh Kirby, spokesman for the LGBTQ-friendly US State Department, "We have to keep in mind the greater goal of the operation."

       The Pentagon decided to embed Special Forces with the Turkish forces operating in Syria largely for diplomatic reasons. Anti-American sentiment is at an all-time high in Turkey today. Many---if not most---Turks believe that the Obama Administration was complicit in last month's coup attempt against Erdogan.

        In a statement given prior to the incident, Pentagon spokesman Jeff Davis assured the Corporate Media that the FSA around Al-Rai had "been vetted." No doubt they were vetted by CENTCOM commander Joseph Votel who in May "accidentally" bombed the FSA during a battle with ISIS, much as he "mistakenly" bombed the Syrian yesterday. In Iraq, Votel is best known for 'unintentionally" dropping weapons and supplies on ISIS positions. His vetting skills were made apparent in June when the Jordanian contractors he'd hired were caught selling US weapons on the Black Market.

       With our commandoes in their safe spaces in Turkey now, the Allies reported that they had recovered the positions captured by ISIS after yesterday's US airstrike. The death toll from that attack has reached 90, as ten more Syrian troops have died of their wounds. Syrian President Dr. Bashir Assad addressed the nation today, assuring them that the enemies of Syria ultimately will fail.

     "They are depleting all their energy and resources to maintain the terrorist war in Syria." Assad said. "Whenever the Syrian State achieves tangible progress either on the ground or in national reconciliation, the nations hostile to Syria increase their support for terrorist organizations, and the most flagrant example of this was the US aggression against Syrian Arab Army positions in Deir Ezzur for the benefit of ISIS."