UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT THROWS TANTRUM; GOES TO SAFE SPACE

     Morton Schapiro, president of Northwestern University lashed out yesterday at critics who oppose his politically-correct policy of creating safe spaces. Safe spaces, along with trigger warnings, and speech codes, are supposedly put in place to protect people from what the Academic Mafia calls microagressions. Microaggressions are what normal people refer to as irritations; but here in the Prozac Nation, minor irritations rise to the level of national emergencies, and so Schapiro---as a Cultural Elite---steps up to his duty.

    One would assume that, with the ability to fleece tuition to the tune of over $70,000 a year per student and a with a fat $1.33 million salary, Schapiro would be living in a very safe space. Not so. What occasioned Schapiro's outburst was that the University of Chicago---in a sudden and involuntary spasm of Common Sense---issued a policy statement renouncing safe spaces and other such nonsense---on the grounds that college students should be treated like adults.

    In the 2016 Northwestern commencement speech, Schapiro exploded into proper Ameroboob outrage.

    "The people who decry safe spaces do it from their segregated housing places, from their jobs without diversity, and from their country clubs!" the Dean thundered, "It just drives me nuts! If those people say that you shouldn't be warned to prepare yourself psychologically for traumatic content---that is somehow 'coddling'---then those people are lunatics!"

    Schapiro then got to the heart of the issue, stating that "I remember every microaggression I've ever experienced. Such incidents cut you to the very core. Those who deny the existence of microaggressions are idiots!"

    Statements like these indicate very clearly that this man is a neurotic. By any respectable theory of psychology, anyone who claims to be traumatized by every perceived slight and sees these slights all around him, is seriously mentally ill. The illness is even more pronounced when such persons project their delusions on society at large and seek to hide in so-called safe spaces. We are not inclined to throw such accusations around lightly here; any of our readers may consult Freud, Koffka, Adler, Menninger or any other psychological authority to confirm this assertion.

     And yet this man not only is the millionaire head of one of America's prestigious universities, he is considered by other degenerates among our Cultural Elite as a great intellect. Schapiro has written allegedly scholarly editorials, such as for the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post, wherein he defended black students' decision to segregate themselves as creating a safe space. In August, he wrote an editorial, co-authored by another PC administrator in the Los Angeles Times (a subsidiary of Tronc Inc.). Here he defended the riots on campuses by stating:

     "As college presidents ourselves, it is our preference that students work with faculty and administrators rather than occupy offices, shut themselves off from others with whom they disagree, or leave school. But we recognize and accept that these students are coming of age in a time of political, social, and economic turbulence unseen in a generation. This year's presidential rhetoric only makes things more volatile."

      Since we're speaking of feelings, how do Americans feel about spending millions of tax dollars keeping people like Morton Schapiro rich and famous? Do you feel better knowing that top educators think of you as idiots and lunatics if you don't agree that their personal traumas are national issues? How does it feel knowing that people educated by people like Morton Schapiro are going to be running the country some day?

      Unfortunately, most Ameroboobs are too full of amphetamines to feel much of anything. Except feeling outraged; which characters like Morton Schapiro are only to happy to accommodate.