THE AMERICAN LAND WHALE

    An alarming report from the US Center for Disease Control recently confirmed something that the world's bachelors have long suspected: American women are now the fattest demographic in the world. Not only have the numbers of fat women increased in the Prozac Nation, but the Obesity Rate among our fair sex has hit an astounding 40%; or 2/5 of the female population.

      American women have come a long way since 1962, when psychologist Albert Ellis affirmed that "American women are generally agreed to be the most beautiful in the world." Throughout the late 19th to the mid 20th century, it was not uncommon for foreign bachelors to visit our shores in the hopes of securing an American wife. The most famous of these was when actress Grace Kelly landed the King of Monaco; architect Lisa Halaby got the King of Jordan; and President Kennedy's widow got a Greek oil tycoon. Despite what the Politically-Correct media says, men really do not prefer the big-and-beautiful female body type.

      But before certain Manosphere Gamer-types start crowing; the report also showed that American men are not far behind, at 35%.

      It's difficult to imagine this today, but the United States once prided itself on its culture of physical fitness. The movement really began in the Ivy League Schools during the 1880s. Academics then proposed that physical education and mental fitness were related concepts and the idea caught on in American public schools. President Theodore Roosevelt, himself a beneficiary of the philosophy, popularized the Active Lifestyle as a cultural ideal. Foreign leaders in both World Wars and Korea often remarked on Americans' seemingly limitless energy and endurance---as well as their ability to function as a team. President John F. Kennedy, by Executive Order, standardized physical fitness requirements in public education and made them mandatory in all public schools. 

      How did the American public go from being a fit and trim nation of champions to bloated basket-cases in less than 50 years?

       The problem really started in the early 1990s, when the Cultural Marxists began dictating national education policies. The Clinton Administration particularly promoted an idea concocted by the Academic Left commonly called Non-Outcome-Based Education. The premises behind this absurdity are that everyone is entitled to academic success and that no one should be required to achieve excellence. The Left naturally hates and envies anything or anybody that they perceive superior; and of course physical education is no different. Most such programs were either eliminated altogether or radically altered---and though the political Right feigned opposition to these innovations, they mostly accepted them since they and their offspring also benefitted from lower standards.

           As American physical fitness declined and national health issues began to increase, Americans reacted as they are wont to these days: looked for angles to cash in instead of demanding that we and our schools do better. Things like Fat Acceptance Movements, dietary programs, healthcare costs related to obesity, specialized apparel for fat people and the occasional lawsuit and scapegoating of the fast-food industry translate to big profit margins. Things like school Physical Education programs cost money.

            And so, postmodern America rolls off the world stage once again. But at least we can still boast of being the world leader at something.