THE BELTWAY: MAKING THE WORLD SAFE FOR CULTURAL MARXISM

        Doubtless mortified by Syria's recent suppression of several Jihadist drug-smuggling and sex-trafficking rings, a few dozen outraged employees of the US State Department urged John Kerry to consider military action against the Assad government. Kerry has yet to comment on the proposal, which was an internal memo leaked to the press. Considering that this happened during the same week that a CIA torture report was leaked and the DNC database was hacked; Kerry might be inclined to consider strengthening the Beltway's own security before getting involved in Syria's.

         For example, if the US actually had competent officials in the State Department they would realize that Assad's forces are part of an Alliance, and attacking them will also attack roughly five other countries. These include Russia, China, and Iran---people who might take an unfavorable view of the Pentagon dropping bombs on their citizenry.

           Kerry might also have considered that the Pentagon's current state of readiness might not be quite up for WW3. The Pentagon this week had to beg Congress to allow them to import more Russian-made rocket engines, for example. It must be rather galling for Pentagon commanders---putting on these grand military demonstrations in front of Russia and China---knowing that imports from these countries keep our military supplied.

             As if this wasn't enough, a representative of the US Diversity Air Force was forced shamefacedly to confess to the press that, alas, the rumors were true. The USAF had indeed lost 12 years' worth of intelligence and security data.

             "Hopefully we'll be able to get this data recovered and there won't be a long-term impact" said General Mark Welch, "We must learn what happened, how it happened, and keep it from happening again."

               And hopefully Obama won't start WW3, if our lives depend on intellects like General Welch. Doesn't an average 12 year-old with his first computer know enough to backup his files? But remember that this is the same Pentagon who outsources software technology to China and India, then has no idea why their systems keep getting hacked.

               Meanwhile, on the troubled island of Okinawa, the Pentagon has decided that after a grueling 11 days of alcohol prohibition and curfews, our brave men and women in uniform have suffered enough and the temporary restrictions would be removed. (Translation: the restrictions were cutting into defense contractors' profit margins). Other than a DUI with critical injuries and a few assaults and robberies, the personnel stationed on Okinawa behaved themselves during this harrowing ordeal. Besides, the Tojos have deployed extra police to the island, so our forces can emerge from their safe spaces just in time for weekend festivities. Which hopefully won't result in any Okinawan casualties.