ALLIES REACH MOSUL CITY LIMITS AS PENTAGON FLOUNDERS

      The Battle of Mosul has reached the end of its first week with an impressive string of victories for the Allies---in spite of Obama's continued interference and blundering. Allied forces in the Northern Quadrant reached the Mosul City Limits after several days of heavy fighting. Allied progress was slowed after the ISIS thugs set fire to a sulfur mine and adjacent chemical plant, filling the skies with toxic fumes.

        In the Southern Quadrant, Allied troops fighting their way up the Tigris River Valley liberated nine more Mosul suburbs on Sunday. Troops are said to be within two miles of the Mosul City Limits. Iraqi Army officials reported light casualties but confirmed that around 300 ISIS soldiers were confirmed killed in Sunday's fighting.

     In the Western Quadrant, Kurdish Militias are said to be within four miles of the Mosul border. The Kurds repelled a heavy ISIS counter-attack on Saturday, led by suicide car-bombers hitting the Kurdish positions from three directions. Three Kurds were wounded; none killed, and ISIS fell back into the city, sustaining about 50 casualties on the battlefield and about a dozen more from civilian snipers. Today, a successful Iraqi airstrike destroyed the ISIS headquarters in the strategic suburb of Tel Keppe, killing the ISIS commanders. ISIS retreated from Tel Keppe, leaving the Kurds in possession of the town. There have been no recent reports from the Eastern Quadrant.

      During the weekend, ISIS activated a sleeper-cell in Kirkuk, Iraq as a diversionary tactic. Iraqi paramilitary police in Kirkuk put down the uprising though not before ISIS murdered several civilians. Kirkuk was also the scene of several embarrassments for our Gay-Friendly, Gender-Neutral Pentagon which mostly has been slumming around the battlefield pretending to be contributing something. The inept CENTCOM commander, General Stanley Votel immediately ordered a 'Coalition' airstrike on ISIS in Kirkuk; which successfully bombed an Iraqi funeral procession, killing 20 innocent civilians and wounding 45 others. The Pentagon denied responsibility; but Obama quietly sent Defense Secretary Ash Carter to Baghdad to smooth things over with the infuriated Iraqi government.

      The arrogant Carter had plenty of explaining to do. On Saturday, the Pentagon reported that a US soldier had been killed by an IED outside Mosul. But this contradicted an earlier report from eyewitnesses who claimed that the soldier was guarding an ISIS convoy escaping Mosul when he was shot by a sniper. The Kurds also captured some spy drones belonging to ISIS---which were US-made Raven drones. The Pentagon hasn't explained how ISIS came to have such equipment. The Pentagon did, however, give the Corporate Media a briefing on its new gender-neutral speech codes.

      In other war news, Syria's elite Desert Eagles commando units ambushed an ISIS convoy attempting to smuggle oil out of Swedia Province. The oil tankers were destroyed and several ISIS soldiers and smugglers were killed or captured.