ISIS SUPREME RELIGIOUS LEADER ASSASSINATED

    One of ISIS' top leaders and most wanted war criminals was assassinated in Raqqa on Wednesday. Mullah Amineh Halabi was the Supreme religious leader of the terrorist gang, and de factor governor of Raqqa since ISIS head Abu Al-Baghdadi fled the city in late May. Al-Baghdadi's current whereabouts are unknown; but five masked men armed with silencers located and ambushed Halabi, sending the bloody Emir to Tartarus. The assassins escaped in a car; ISIS soldiers conducted a search which has so far proven fruitless.

     Halabi was suspected by the United Nations as the instigator of ISIS' genocide against the Yehzidi population of Iraq and many other Crimes Against Humanity.

     ISIS suffered another blow in Mosul as well. Yesterday, a warehouse containing the bulk of ISIS' rockets, IEDs, mines, and other WMDs mysteriously exploded, killing about 100 ISIS troops and setting the ISIS encampment on fire. The cause of the explosion is unknown; but the smoke was seen for miles and the terrorists were deprived of a major resource.

     It should be noted that both incidents were reported by Fars News, which is heavily connected to the Iranian Security and Intelligence Services. Fars had no information on the assailants' identity nor the cause of the explosion, but they did seem to know quite a few other details about the incidents. Now we at this blog don't want to jump to conclusions---and certainly not give away any military secrets that might benefit the Jihadists. But we do offer here a tacit salute and a knowing wink to the Ayatollahs on two jobs well done.

      In other war-related news, Syrian commandoes raided a major Al-Qaeda meth lab near Damascus, taking three local drug traffickers into custody and confiscating 60,000 Captagon pills bound for Western black markets. Russia announced today that their military would assist the United Nations in delivering UN humanitarian aid to liberated sectors of East Aleppo. Allied forces are also reportedly massing on all sides of Aleppo's Southern redoubt: Al-Qaeda's last position in the city. The final assault to liberate Aleppo is believed to be imminent.

       A human interest story also came out of Damascus. Al-Furkhan Elementary School reopened after a November terrorist attack killed 8 children and wounded 20 others. The children drafted a letter of protest and delivered it by hand to the UN office in Syria. And here in America, college-age adults run to safe spaces over hurtful words and complain about microagressions. Go figure.